‘First Time’ & ‘Mija, You Have Anxiety’ - 2 poems by Mya Edwards-Peña

First Time

Walk in

Smelled like doctor’s gloves in the air but it wasn’t a hospital,

at least I think.

The lights were dim and I saw someone I recognized,

A friend of my mom’s

And OH GOSH now he knows that I am partially psycho.

I checked myself in with my dad beside me

Waited 10 minutes then the guy called me

“Mya Edwards”

I first walk in all alone,

My dad waited in the waiting room with strangers with lovely mental problems.

I sat there, comfortably, on the gray couch with my feet touching the ground, my heart beating

fast not knowing who to expect -

3 seconds later a Latin American gentle man walks in.

He sits down in front of me at his tiny brown desk,

logs my name into the computer, and then

jumps right in.

Mija, You Have Anxiety

A tightness grew in my chest,

I was sitting on a soft dark gray couch that smelled like coffee beans,

my legs kicked up resting my heels on the wooden table in my Grandma's living room.

The T.V. was on 65 volume setting and felt like 65 degrees blowing inside.

Ruckus,

An explosion of loose tongues and foreign letters danced their way from the kitchen into the

living room

Into my head of wrestling thoughts.

I sank there comfortably thinking about whales eating people,

God knows what.

I rose from my seat And my chest grew tight.

My chest contracted about a hundred times,

In between my breasts I clenched my hand pulling my skin apart from my bones to let the air

pass through.

My heart began to fail,

Sinking down into the contractions my chest dealt.

A pinch deep within making it difficult to breathe.

I walked into the dining room

Panting hard and gasping for the tiniest bit of air.

When I walked in my nina asked what was going on with me,

I told her, “I can’t breathe”.

She looked at me,

Told me to breathe and count my blessings.

She motioned me to sit down with her and I told her all my worries.

She replied with, “Mija, you have anxiety”.