The Checkbox—An Interview With Athena Asklipiadis

An interview of Athena Mari Asklipiadis conducted by Addison Lee.

Athena Mari Asklipiadis is the Vice President of Multiracial Americans of Southern California - (MASC), the Associate Producer of Mixed Match the film, and the founder of Mixed Marrow—-An organization dedicated to finding bone marrow and blood cell donors to patients of multiethnic descent

AL: Just to start us off, what has been your personal experience with your racial identity?

AA: Well, I was born in Los Angeles. My dad is Greek Italian Armenian Egyptian. My mom is Japanese American. She was born in the U.S, so I think I've always known I was mixed. My identity didn't come until later on because I grew up in a primarily Black and Latino neighborhood and then my school was mostly white so I don't think I ever really met a ton of people that were like me. I think that was a big challenge for me. College is when I first started to embrace what I was.

It opened my eyes to the fact that you could be dual or multi-identity instead of having to choose one or the other.

AL: How do you think that specifically impacted your identity, in terms of growing up and being educated by, I'm assuming primarily white teachers and in primarily white classrooms?

AA: I wouldn't say my school had no diversity but definitely, the majority was white. I went to private schools mostly because where I was brought up was in a low-income urban neighborhood and safety was a big issue since I was growing up after the LA riots.

But there was just this ideal, of every kid wanting to be what they saw on tv and since the beauty standard was very much just European models and blondes, I would notice trends where, for example, the two blonde white girls would get the most attention from the boys and such. And there were particular instances where people would point out my Asian side and would tease me for it, and make me feel like Asian people weren’t as attractive. Those were the subtle comments I would internalize and think “Okay well then I must not be attractive and you know, what boys like.”

And once I even had someone, a boy I had a crush on directly say something, and I think it’s what really paved the way for why my identity was so difficult for me. I had a huge crush on this boy and right around when they developed three-way calling I had a good friend call him threeway and he didn't know I was on the line and she asked him “Oh what do you think of Athena?” And he said,

“I don't like Chinese girls”.

That shattered me.

It definitely always made me want to overcompensate by not being as Asian and I still do it to this day, which is kind of sad. I kind of hold back on doing super Asian things because I'm like “Oh my gosh I'm such a stereotype right now”. I think it all stems from that internalized hatred I developed as a kid. Nobody wants to be different. We all want to be the norm. And being seen as different by people but not necessarily feeling that way was a conflict because I wasn't raised super Asian either.

I saw myself as a white girl in my mind and culturally I was an American child of the 90s.

AL: On a subject of school, many multiracial teenagers have to go through the strategy of what boxes to check in applying for colleges and tackling the challenge of figuring out which for each school? Have you had any experience with this?

AA: Okay, so my story is really weird and crazy.

What was interesting was on some of the college apps where I could put down multiple checkboxes (because on most I could only choose one), I happened to ask some of my Egyptian friends what they put since there was no Egyptian box. They both said they put African-American because they feel like their country is on the continent of Africa. (I've heard discrepancies over that because they're [Egypt] not a black country in Africa) . So that being said my college application that had multiple boxes, I would put down African, Caucasian, and Asian. And what was interesting is at the college I did get into, I started getting things in my mailbox from the Black Student Union. I was like “why do I keep getting these?” and I thought “OK maybe they just put it in everybody's box and they invite everybody right?”. But I can't remember exactly if I had asked the people or why I knew I was kind of the only one that kept getting them. But I kept getting them and so I went to the registrar's office and I said: “Hey I don't know why but I keep getting this stuff and I'm not black?”  She said, “Oh interesting. You're labeled as African-American in our system.” I'm like “What, but I marked multiple boxes?” She said, “Yes, but the system can only hold one for your profile.”

Even if you marked multiple boxes when you entered your application they really only considered one. It was interesting to find that out through my years of working with Bone Marrow recruitment and health care and all these different places where hospitals and schools have you down as a race. I feel like the forms are made a certain way to appease people, but that may not reflect what the system actually says because it's extra work to reprogram and allow for more than one option to be recorded. It's just interesting to learn that people don't necessarily use the data how you assume they will use it. I didn't find that out till later but that was one present example in a school system where what they were asking me didn’t really matter because they’re just going to pick one for you and they're going to pick what's easiest for them.

AL: If you could picture the ideal multiracial community, what would that look like?

AA: I think it’s like the feeling I get at Loving Day New York or when I attended the Critical Mixed Race Studies Conference. We're all different types and people together and we’re all unified on the idea of what our community means to us. And there's that element of also deeper discussions because we aren’t just having a good time and socializing but we’re also talking about and discussing really important things about changing changes in law or changes in society and acceptance.

And there's a lot of hurt that needs to be healed there that I feel like gets to be addressed. That is a good balance for the community to have not just the social fun aspect of getting to know people like you but also talking and learning and hearing others out. Another thing I’ve noticed that there's groups and organizations where when they say mixed or biracial for events, more of the turnout is black mixed people rather than the hapa community but I feel like the mixed identity should be more unified in that regard. We all could learn from each other because we all have very similar parallel lives and experiences. I would like to see that more in our community.

AL: What were some challenges that you've encountered through founding your organization and how do you tackle those?

I don't know if there were necessarily challenges. I think through the years there has been more support and positive partnerships and through those, there have been some challenges. I've definitely encountered, individuals that have seemed like they want to help and seem that they wanted to do something to promote my idea but then I could tell that they're somehow trying to use me or my organization to benefit them.

So there's been a few partnerships that fell through because I either got a gut instinct or they just weren't acting right. And I think you just definitely got to trust your instincts and your senses because as a mixed person and being a part of a large and fast-growing demographic, there's power in those numbers and if they see you do have some sort of a following or clout., there are people out there that will look to take advantage of that. I use my best judgment and I kind of nip those in the bud before they ever escalate into anything really damaging. There are really good people in this world and that's the biggest lesson. From what I do, what I’ve learned is that there is a ton of good-hearted people and I don't think the media, necessarily, shows that the world can be a really good place. But I am fortunate enough to see that through my work.

AL: Other than trust your gut, what other advice do you have for fellow multiracial creators?

AA: I would say the number one thing is not to be competitive but to collaborate with others. There's definitely a race to the finish line where everybody wants to be big and successful. And I've seen it a ton in our community because everybody wants to be this unique place that can be an organization or it's an event or publication or you know a mixed-race model or whatever it may be. I feel like there's not as many of us doing it that big and everybody's fighting for being the first and the greatest. I feel like in order to be successful and to last a long time you have to play nice. I do think that there are people that don't play nice. I won't name names but I've run into quite a few along the way that are just wanting to build themselves up. If we want our community to have a voice and to have visibility, the only way to do that successfully is to gather and support each other because there's just not enough of it. We're a fast-growing demographic but we're still a small portion of the population.

In order for us to grow and be successful, we should lift each other up and congratulate each other.