What’s In a Name?: An Introduction By Katherine Montana
“What’s your name?” they ask. “Kate Montana,” I say proudly. What follows is often some version of “Cool name! It sounds like a superhero!” or “Are you related to Joe?” or “Are you related to Hannah?” Hence, the curiosity of my first and last name together sticks, and everyone calls me by my full name, the two words pronounced together quickly like they are one. It is the latest iteration of my name. I’ve gone from Katherine to Katie to Katie M. (pronounced, specifically, as “Katie M period”) and lastly to Kate, a name I gave myself when there were too many Katies in my kindergarten class. However, the first version of my name was taken away before I was even born.
My grandfather, Lawrence Montana, used to be named Lawrence Montaño. When he joined the United States Air Force, there was supposedly a clerical error that recorded his name in his official documents as Lawrence Montana, and he tells he just never bothered to change it back because he wanted to make sure he got his paycheck attributed to that name. Sixty-some years later, he still bears a name that his father did not have. My aunt, his daughter, tells me that relatives scoff at this, thinking my grandfather to be too proud or think he is too good for the Montaño name. I wonder, too, if Grandpa Larry felt a need to assimilate by assuming the all-American-sounding name of Montana.
I am unsure if I should claim the family name that eluded me. Should I change my name (back) to Katherine Olivia Montaño? The Montana name has certainly given me privilege. Bearing the name of a U.S. state invites less bias on job applications and such than the Spanish Montaño. Yet, growing up largely disconnected from my non-White heritage, I yearn for a connection to my Hispanic (Mexican and Spanish) roots associated with the name Montaño. I wonder, though, if Montaño is even our true ancestral name or if it is the result of another colonizer’s attempt to name our family. My great-grandpa John, Grandpa Larry’s father, was Indigenous, a member of the Tiwa tribe of New Mexico. Grandpa Larry tells me that our ancestors were a group that faced conflict with Spaniards, specifically in the Pueblo Revolt of 1860, which was a conflict between various New Mexico tribes as they resisted the obliteration of their culture by the Spanish. The revolt is remembered as being successful on the part of the tribes, yet my family ended up with the linguistically Spanish name of Montaño. As my ancestors resisted colonization by asserting their culture, should I follow in their footsteps by reclaiming the name Montaño that was taken away from me, or is it not true resistance since it may really be the name given to my ancestors by colonizing Spaniards? It’s complicated, but, as a mixed person, there is nothing new about that.
This uncertainty about what to call myself reflects the internal conflicts that often characterize my mixed identity. What labels can or should I claim? I often feel like I need permission to be the version of myself who shares a name with my relatives and ancestors, which begets an anxious state about who I am. As a mixed person without too much cultural connection to my non-White identities, sharing a name with those relatives and ancestors may be an important step toward realizing my full ethnic identity. On the other hand, I do not want to be disrespectful by claiming something to which I have little connection in my lived experience; I do not face many of the challenges associated with being Indigenous, Mexican, or Spanish, given my ethnically ambiguous appearance and English being my first language, among other privileges. I am desperate for connection but do not want to be a cherry picker or further colonize the Montaño name. I am proud of the name I currently hold, Kate Montana, but my questions about the Montaño name remain. Clearly, there can be a lot of history, pain, and resistance in a name.
1 “A Brief History of the Pueblo Revolt,” Indian Pueblo Cultural Center, 2019, https://indianpueblo.org/a-brief-history-of-the-pueblo-revolt
Katherine Montana is a recent college grad and budding biologist, or science educator, or science communicator; she isn’t sure yet. When she is not watching online webinars about a variety of subjects, like badgers or urban biking safety, or contemplating her mixed White-Asian-Hispanic-Native identity, she is working at REI and as an assistant manager of an independent bookstore which bears the same name as her dog, Ruby. She is always happy to chat, and you can reach her at kmontana13@yahoo.com.
Photo by Alexandria Storm